Phuck The Fat - Weight Loss Calculator & Affordable GLP-1 Medications

Think getting your hands on Ozempic®, Wegovy®, or Mounjaro® means emptying your wallet? Phuck that. Here are 10 punchy tips to save big on GLP-1 medications (semaglutide or tirzepatide) so you can lose weight without losing all your cash. Let's dive in:

1. Snag a Manufacturer Coupon Card

Drugmakers often offer savings programs that seriously cut costs. Example: Novo Nordisk's Wegovy/Ozempic card or Eli Lilly's Mounjaro card. If you're eligible, you could pay as little as $25 for a month's supply of these meds. That's right – the pharma companies will eat most of the cost to get you on board. Typically, you need commercial insurance (not government insurance) and to meet certain criteria, but always check the official sites. Even if you're uninsured, Novo has options (like a direct-pay Wegovy deal at $499) which, while not $25, is still way less than list price.

2. Use Pharmacy Discount Coupons

Don't walk into a pharmacy and pay sticker price. Apps and sites like GoodRx, SingleCare, BuzzRx, etc., let you compare prices and download free coupons. These can slash the price dramatically. For instance, with a GoodRx coupon Ozempic can drop to $499/month at certain pharmacies (versus $1,000+ otherwise). That's real money saved. Just show the coupon code from your phone when you pay. No membership or insurance needed. It's basically a legal hack to get the negotiated rates insurance companies get.

3. Leverage Your Insurance (If You Can)

This one's obvious but important. If you have health insurance, check your formulary and coverage for semaglutide (Ozempic/Wegovy) or tirzepatide (Mounjaro/Zepbound). Some plans cover diabetes meds but not weight loss – yet they're the same drug! Your doctor might be able to get it approved by indicating a medical need (Type 2 diabetes diagnosis, or obesity with comorbidities). Prior authorizations are a pain, but if successful, you could go from paying $1300 to just a copay. Pro tip: if one drug isn't covered for weight loss, ask about the other (some insurers that snub Wegovy might cover Saxenda or another GLP-1, which, while not as convenient, is better than nothing). Fight for your coverage, because if you win, the savings are huge.

4. Go the Compounded Route (for Semaglutide)

Compounding pharmacies are your friend, especially for semaglutide. These pharmacies can legally mix and dispense compounded semaglutide (often with vitamin B12 added) at a fraction of the brand cost. We're talking roughly $200-$300 per month on average, which is a night-and-day difference. Many telehealth weight loss clinics work with compounding pharmacies to get you these lower-cost shots. Remember: Use legit U.S. compounding pharmacies and get a prescription – don't buy random "semaglutide peptide" from some sketchy website. When done properly, compounding is a safe way to access the same med cheaply. (Sadly, compounded tirzepatide had its moment in 2023-2024 but is no longer officially allowed, so this tip mainly applies to semaglutide.)

5. Join an Online GLP-1 Clinic

Skip the middleman (insurance/pharmacy) altogether. Online clinics and telehealth programs offer weight loss plans that include the medication. They typically charge a flat monthly fee that covers doctor consults, the semaglutide or tirzepatide itself (often compounded version), and support. The convenience is great – meds shipped to you, no pharmacy lines – but the cost can be much lower too. For example, some services deliver compounded semaglutide for around $300/month or less. Plus, many of these programs don't require insurance at all. Shop around for reputable clinics (read reviews, ensure they use real pharmacies). It's like a subscription for your skinny journey – one that can save you cash in the long run.

6. Apply for Patient Assistance Programs

If you're in a tough spot financially, look into patient assistance programs (PAPs) from the manufacturers. Novo Nordisk and Eli Lilly both have PAPs that might supply the drug at extreme discounts or even free if you qualify. Usually, you must have low income and either no insurance or Medicare. The application process can be a bit involved (proof of income, etc.), and not everyone will qualify. But if you do, this is the motherlode of savings – potentially $0 meds for a period of time. It's absolutely worth checking out through NovoCare (for semaglutide) or Lilly's program (for tirzepatide).

7. Use HSA/FSA Dollars

If you have a Health Savings Account or Flexible Spending Account, use that plastic! These accounts let you pay medical expenses with pre-tax money, which means a built-in discount equivalent to your tax rate. For example, $1,000 out of an HSA might only "feel like" $700-$800 because you didn't pay taxes on that income. Both semaglutide and tirzepatide prescriptions are eligible expenses. This isn't a coupon or lower pharmacy price, but it is a way to save ~20-30% in the grand scheme. Every bit counts when we're dealing with pricey meds.

8. Buy in Bulk (Longer Supply)

Sometimes you get a price break for getting more at once. Ask your doctor to write a 90-day prescription instead of 30 days. Some pharmacies give discounts for a 3-month fill, and you might save on refill fees or dispensing fees. If you're using insurance, a 90-day supply could mean you pay one copay instead of three, depending on your plan. With mail-order pharmacies, this is often the case. This strategy depends on your specific scenario, but bulk-buying can trim costs and it's more convenient (fewer trips). Just make sure you've tolerated the med okay before you buy in bulk – you don't want to be stuck with 3 months of something you can't use.

9. Check for Clinical Trials or Studies

This is a more unconventional approach, but worth mentioning. Pharmaceutical companies and research institutions often run clinical trials for new obesity medications or new combinations, and they usually provide the medication free to participants, plus medical oversight. You might even get paid a stipend. Now, you can't bank on always qualifying for a trial, but it's something to keep on your radar. There are also obesity medicine clinics that sometimes have demonstration programs or studies that provide discounted treatment. It's a bit of a long shot, but for some, it could be a way to access cutting-edge meds (like maybe tirzepatide or even newer ones) without cost. Plus, you help advance science – karma points!

10. Avoid the "Black Market" Trap

The last "tip" is actually a warning – because saving money doesn't help if you get scammed or sick. As GLP-1 drugs got popular, a black market of supposed "generic semaglutide" or under-the-counter tirzepatide popped up online. You'll see random websites or shady suppliers on social media offering the meds cheap without a prescription. Don't go there. Many of these are selling counterfeit or adulterated products. Best case, you lose money on something that doesn't work; worst case, you inject some mystery garbage and land in the ER. The ONLY safe way to get these meds is via legitimate pharmacies (traditional or compounding) with a prescription. If something seems too good and sketchy to be true, it is. Stick with the above board savings methods – you'll thank yourself later.

By mixing and matching the strategies above, you can make semaglutide or tirzepatide actually affordable. For example: use an online clinic for a few months of compounded semaglutide to kickstart weight loss, while working with your doctor to get insurance approval for Wegovy or Mounjaro later. Or use a coupon while you wait for a savings card enrollment to go through. Hustle a little and you'll beat the system.

Losing weight is hard – paying for your meds shouldn't make it harder. Phuck the high prices and get that GLP-1 assist without going broke!